I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
40s are totally the cure
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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