so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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