More tranny stories later!
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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