the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
