The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
