so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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