Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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