OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize