the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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