Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
