i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
