I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
