i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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