I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Randomize
