she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize