Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he puts the penis in happiness.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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