I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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