omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
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I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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