Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
