I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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