I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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