I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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