I think I died a long time ago.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
