why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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