i just wanna soil my oats bro
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
two words...techno handjob
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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