Screwed.edu
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
