if only i could text you this smell
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
