Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
