To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Randomize
