6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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