Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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