its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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