I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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