Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
