thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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