He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
