omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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