I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
