you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
