he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
