I can tuck mytits in my pants
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize