What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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