I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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