There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
