I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
