they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
