i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
