quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
