The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
