dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
