I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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