this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
you didnt know i had herpes?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
