the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
