I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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