I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
