I can't watch pbs sober anymore
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
