You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize