Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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