Her vagina should come with caution tape.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
