once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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