this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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