You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
