Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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