Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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