Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
