you guys were way drunker than both of me
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
